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Savannah Scott Romcom Author

How to conquer impatience and cultivate gentleness as a mom

December 23, 2017 By Patty 2 Comments

23 Dec

“Irish temper” has been renowned my family. Perhaps it’s just one more legend from the land of leprechauns and the blarney stone.   One thing I know is I come by my feisty spirit honestly.  Cultivating genuine gentleness has been a slow and inconsistent process.  

A Lesson from a Shell

When my oldest was in a church preschool, he came home one day with a large shell painted all sorts of colors.  On the inside he had glued a piece of paper saying:

Let your gentle spirit be known to all men.  The Lord is near.

God teaches gentleness - even through a shell

photo courtesy of wynand van poortvliet

I have kept that shell on my dresser to this day.  God uses many means to reach us.  Sometimes He speaks through a preschool craft project. 

My first reaction to the idea that God was calling out my gentleness went something like, “Me, Lord? Let MY gentle spirit be known? You’ve got it wrong. I’m the feisty Irish girl who knows her own mind. Gentleness isn’t really my forte.”

[bctt tweet=”We aren’t as we will be when we encounter Jesus – but because of that encounter we will never be the same.” username=”HeartsHomeward”]

Transformed by Love

When Jesus called John to be his disciple, John was known as a “son of thunder.” (oh, John, I can relate!)  John goes down in the annals of history for doing such things as asking the Lord to annihilate a whole village for not welcoming them.

Afer walking with Jesus for a few years, John was called “the disciple of love.” His self-perception even changed so that he could say of himself, “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” He became permeated by love and was transformed into a vessel of love.

gentleness like a flower

photo courtesy of maria shanina

So it is with us.

When we hang out in the presence of Jesus, we experience the conversion of our souls. To claim Him as Lord is to say we are “Christians” (little Christs), however, it actually takes a lifetime to allow Him to morph us increasingly into His likeness.  

Learning Gentleness

God talks about our gentle spirit in the midst of this passage which instructs us in releasing anxiety. We have just been told to rejoice in the Lord always – to always find our joy in Him at all times and in all occasions. Then we are told to let our gentle spirit be evident to all. 

The particular word used for “gentleness” in this passage is only used five times in the New Testament. It is contrasted to brawling and likened to being patient in the face of things that would draw out addiction or anger in us. It is similar to being meek, peaceable, reverent and full of mercy.  I don’t know about you, but just reading those traits slows my heartbeat a bit.  

God will draw gentleness out in each of us. How can that be? Because He is near. He doesn’t send us out, saying, “Go.  Be gentle.” He says, “Come near.  You can be gentle because I am near.” 

photo courtesy of ricardo gomez angel

God is the Safest Place

Do you remember being afraid of something as a little girl?  You probably wanted your daddy near you. If your father was a good dad, you sensed that being near him would be the safest place in the world.   

A child clings to her father because she knows whatever is bigger than her will have to contend with her Dad before it can ever touch her.  

As we grow to trust God, we realize He is the safest place in the universe.  In the safety of our Father, we can be gentle.  To be gentle we need to become vulnerable.  We can only do that when we feel safe enough to trust His care and protection.   

If we stand under our own care and protection, gentleness will be impossible. We have to be on guard when we rely on ourselves. 

Building a Wall

God proves His gentleness to us.  For me, this has taken time.  I’ll tell you why.  I grew up with a father who had a quick and unpredictable wrath.  When I thought of a father, I pictured both sides of my own dad.  He could be fun and loving, but at other times he created a fear in me that was unparalleled.  

I learned to avoid leaning on him for safety and to become my own safe harbor.  In my self-protection, I built a wall.  It has taken years to tear that down and allow myself to trust God’s nearness.  

photo courtesy of gabriele diwald

If you have had a similar upbringing where your own dad was harsh or unpredictable, you may relate.  We tend to see God as being like our parents.  In our right mind, we know He is good, but our heart may tell us a different story.  

Tearing Down the Wall

How can we move past this wall?  

The first step for me has been to form a trusting relationship with a mentor.  With her help, I looked at the false beliefs I held about God.  What made me turn from Him instead of running towards Him when hard times came? 

As I identified my false ideas, I was able to release those and allow God to show me the truth.  One of the verses He used to heal my heart has been Psalm 145:8

The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. 

When old instincts rise up, tempting us to run from God, we can remember verses like this one and turn towards Him in prayer.  

God will cultivate a gentle heart in you as you draw near to Him. Allow Him to touch your heart in this moment and to call out gentleness.  Become a woman who can say from the deepest parts of your soul, “I am safe. I trust. God is with me.”  

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Filed Under: Spiritual Growth

About Patty

I write to encourage your heart, feed your soul, and give you wisdom for your life. Motherhood is my passion. I've been married to my surfer/skater husband for over 20 years.  We have two boys and a home full of neighbor kids most days.

« True Confessions of the Mom of an Adolescent
Wonderful things can happen at the supper table »

Comments

  1. Barbie says

    December 26, 2017 at 2:47 PM

    Such a needed message. My kids are mostly grown and I have to say I did not always parent them with gentleness. Thank you for sharing. I pray you had a blessed and beautiful Christmas.

    Reply
  2. Patty says

    December 26, 2017 at 9:39 PM

    Barbie! Hi friend! We did have a sweet Christmas. It’s been spread out over three weekends, so there has been time to savor. We still have trials going on, so there are always the layers of life. The goodness comes with the difficult. I hope your Christmas was blessed.

    I am grateful for your sharing here. I don’t know too many moms who could say they were “always” gentle. Most of us struggle with this – often a lot. I do have a few more naturally gentle friends whose temperaments are more gracious and soft-spoken to begin with. For them gentleness is more second-nature. As CS Lewis said, (my paraphrase) we can’t praise a man for his innate temperament. It’s far more praiseworthy when someone has had to overcome their temperamental shortcomings. That doesn’t excuse me to act badly, but it gives me the grace not to compare myself to someone else.

    I love when you share your mothering journey here (as well as your faith journey). I always love hearing from you. Happy New Year!

    Reply

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Ahhhh … enemies to more. 🔥 The banter is so f Ahhhh … enemies to more. 🔥
The banter is so fun!

Chris and Ella Mae start out getting on one another’s nerves … then, due to completely unexpected circumstances, they end up fake dating … and then they drive one another crazy in a whole different sense of the phrase 😉🥰

Ripped & Shipped comes out early May. I’m about 🤏 close to finishing it and sending it to my editor.

ARC Team sign ups will be coming for ebooks on Saturday (Apr 1). Paperback team is already selected and will be getting a welcome email by this weekend. 

We are going to have so much fun launching this book! I can’t even tell you the feelings I have … wrapping up this first Bordeaux series, writing this story that’s full of heart, and laughs, and kisses that make you grab a glass of ice water and fan yourself. 🔥😘🧊💦🫠

I’m so grateful you’re along for the ride. There aren’t words for the sweetness of sharing the Getting Shipped series with you. 💕

(And I’ve been loosely plotting the next series and getting excited as I start writing the Love Trippin’ books.) 💕

Do you love enemies to lovers?
Fake dating? 
Let me know … 

#wipwednesday #workinprogress #amwritingromance #amwritingromcom
#romcombooks #sweetromcom #closeddoorromance #closeddoorromcom
#savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #bordeauxohio #bordeauxohioforever #newrelease #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #lovestories #rippedandshipped #chellamaebae #rippedandshippedbook #bookstagrammers #bookstagram #romcom #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #bookexcerpt #shippers #Imashipper #Smalltownromance #ohiolove #smalltownromancebooks
Okay. So. Yes, we are still waiting for Ripped & Okay. So. 
Yes, we are still waiting for Ripped & Shipped to come out and be in your happy little hands on May 1st. 

But, authors are always (usually) a book ahead of the readers. 

And, this time, I’m a whole series ahead. 

I’m thinking about “Are We There Yet?” It’s the first book in the Love Trippin’ series. 

Four people from Bordeaux (yes!!) are traveling to California where the next series takes place. 

This first book takes place over a road trip (after a few chapters in Bordeaux, and before the later chapters in Cali).

So, I want to plan this road trip!
Im a road-tripper, and I grew up spending summers traveling from state to state with my family. 

I know my road trip stories. 
I want to hear YOURS! 
Leave it in the comments or DM me. 🚗🌳🚧🏔️

I’m not going to use your exact story, of course. But, if your story inspires something in the book, I’ll send you a free sticker and bookmark when “Are We There Yet” releases this summer. 

I’m so excited to share this new series with you!

#lovetrippin #lovetrippinseries #savannahscottauthor #savannahscott #romcombooks #sweetromcom #sweetromance #closeddoorromance #closeddoorromcom #romcombooksaremyweakness #romcomreadersofinstagram #romancereadersofinstagram #bookstagram #roadtrippin #roadtripromance #roadtrippin #arewethereyet #arewethereyetbook
Writing retreat A few days on the central coast. Writing retreat 

A few days on the central coast. 

Views. 
Good food. 
Sweet conversation 
Getting so close to finishing Ripped & Shipped. 

Dreaming about the next series. 
Thinking about how to bless moms and women 

#writingretreat #amwriting #amwritingromance #amwritingromcom #romcomauthor #romcomreadersofinstagram #romancereadersofinstagram #bookstagram #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #cambriacalifornia #centralcoast #slocounty #moonstonebeach
Would the Rob & Laura fans raise your hands? 🙋🏼‍♀️

My husband and I are listening to the audiobook of Battleshipped together right now. It takes us forever because: life. But, it’s been fun to revisit their story. 

If you love a slightly geeky leading man, a strong female lead with a loyal heart and a persevering spirit, Battleshipped is for you. 

If you love second chance romcom with a dash of enemies to more, Battleshipped has all the “working hard to win her heart back” vibes. 

If you love laughing out loud until people look at you funny while you read. Yeah. There are those scenes. 

If you love a found-family friend group, and a quirky small town that will win your heart, come to Bordeaux. 

QOTD: Do you love when a brainy male lead becomes your book boyfriend? Which brainy male characters have stolen your heart? 

#battleshipped #battleshippedbook #bookexcerpt #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #smalltownromancebooks #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #secondchanceromance #goatsgoatsgoats #bordeauxohio #bookboyfriend #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #ohiolove #bookstagram #bookstagrammers
Is it Wednesday? Um no. No it is not. But, do y Is it Wednesday? 
Um no. No it is not. 

But, do you still want this #WIPWednesday teaser from Ripped & Shipped? Why yes, yes you do. 

I’ll tell y’all. This book is coming along. And it is scrum-diddly-umptious. 

We’re talking banterrrrrr!
And all the swoony enemy vibes. 

And then they start faking! 
What? yasssss. They fake. The enemies start to fake a romance. 

Then … a completely unexpected and sweeeet friendship develops. 

But, ruh-roh. One of them catches feelings (just quoting Duke here). 

And it gets so HOT ( in a very closed-door way) and so HEARTFELT. 

This story is special. It’s the last in Bordeaux. So I’m pouring it all out into this book. 

You’ve got Memaw, Esther, and Mabel. 
The Bordeaux friend group. 
Lulabelle 
Ella Mae
Cooter
And so much more. 

I’m not kidding when I say this may be my fave in series. 

And you know what it means when I say I’m about 3/4 done writing? Yep. I just might release this story in May … ARC Team wannabes, lace up your running shoes. I’ll be posting opportunities to join the few open spots the first week of April. ❤️

Wait til you see the cover, too. Gah. I love it!! 

#rippedandshipped #workinprogress #amwriting
#amwritingromance #amwritingromcom
#romcombooks #sweetromance #sweetromcom
#closeddoorromance #closeddoorromcom
#savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #bordeauxohio
#bordeauxohioforever #bookcoverdesign #newrelease
#ilovemyreaders #gettingshipped
#gettingshippedseries #lovestories
#chellamaebae #comehomeellamae
#rippedandshippedbook #bookstagrammers
#bookstagram #romancereadersofinstagram
#romcomreadersofinstagram #bookexcerpt
Heyyyyy ARC Team! If you were on the ARC team fo Heyyyyy ARC Team! 

If you were on the ARC team for Cruiseshipped, our exclusive ARC Team only book chat is coming!

Tomorrow (Thursday March 23) at 5p PT we’ll be gathering on zoom to talk about Cruiseshipped. 

I’m so grateful to each one of you for reading, sharing, and reviewing Cruiseshipped. ❤️ 

So … mark your calendars and set your alarms (and a countdown is in my stories!) and let’s talk all things Brooks + Gabby ❤️🚢💃🏻

#cruiseshipped #cruiseshippedbook #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #arcteamperks #bookchat #buddyread #ilovemyreaders #authorchat
Well, I’m back with another #mememonday and this Well, I’m back with another #mememonday and this one is featuring one of my favorite movies EVER: The Princess Bride!

Which slide do you like best? 

And … aside from posting here today, I’m writing! Ripped & Shipped (Chris’ story) is halfway done! 

I’m on a roll now, and my family is going to an amusement park for the day (without me), so I’m alone with Bella and my laptop. 

Then, this weekend, I’ve got a writing retreat. The final book in the Getting Shipped series is going to be written! 

Not saying we won’t have some novellas down the road … mayyyybe we could. (Who would you want to see in a Getting Shipped novella?)

I hope your Monday is GREAT!!

#bookmemes #bookishmemes #princessbride #asyouwish #amwriting #amwritingromcom #romcomauthor #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #rippedandshipped #gettingshippedseries
#mawwage #bookstagram #bookstagrammers #bookishcommunity
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