I am guessing your family is a lot like ours. Family suppers have changed as our children have gone from infancy to the elementary and teen years. I want to talk about the power of family supper and some ways we can make time around the table fun and meaningful.
What Stage is Your Family Supper?
Our early family dinners often consisted of me attempting to eat while nursing. This feat involved me behaving like an octopus. People will tell you losing the baby weight comes from nursing. I say it came from the fact that only one in ten bites actually made it into my mouth in those days. We then entered what I like to call the “County Fair” stage of suppers. Picture pie eating contest, but with a six-month-old and noodles or mashed fruit. The toddler years brought on the “Showdown in the Wild West.” We would take our stances and draw our weapons over peas, broccoli or squash. Eat your veggies, Lil’ Pardner or it’s the stockade for you. In the preschool years, we transitioned to “Taming the Savage Beast.” Table manners became the focus of every gathering as well as the introduction of such marvelous inventions as the napkin and the fork.
photo courtesy of tanaphong toochinda
Over time our family grew. We started engaging in conversations and even devotions at the table. We had rituals for connecting at meals. Like most of you, sports and music involvements started staking claims on our supper time. Afternoons consisted of driving around to errands and practices, which meant less available cooking time. Evenings often included games, performances or ministry in the community. Bottom line, more nights than not we either ate something quick around the TV or we ate in a scattered parade through the kitchen. Our family table became the most neglected piece of furniture in the house.
A Season Without Supper
At the height of our supperless season, both boys were enrolled in Tae Kwon Do. To say they loved it would be an understatement. Studio time was nightly at 6:00 or 6:30 pm. We took Thursdays off but had youth group and other ministries instead. Our dinner time was completely gobbled up by our commitment to martial arts.
photo by patty scott
One Sunday our pastor mentioned the family supper during a sermon. He emphasized the importance of consistency and gathering together – even of opening our homes to others to share a meal. I left church with new resolve. We would never regret missing Tae Kwon Do like we would lament having lost our family connection over meals. We pulled the boys out that week.
The boys were sad for a while. Anytime we drove past the area of town near the Dojo (studio), they would say things like, “I wonder if we will ever do Tae Kwon Do again.” We explained that our family chose best over good.
Time together sharing a meal is just that important.
What’s Cooking, Mama?
Having reclaimed the supper hour, I now have a timer that goes off every day at 4:30 pm reminding me to start cooking. I plan my meals for the week each Sunday. We don’t always eat amazing and complicated dishes. My philosophy is that the occasional pizza shared around the TV while we laugh and snuggle on couches can be just as meaningful as a brisket with potatoes and lemon butter asparagus at the table.
photo by pexels
Sometimes we moms try to complicate things with unreasonable standards. If cooking from scratch makes gathering at the table impossible, buy some pre-made meals for a few times a week or cook ahead to make things convenient. If you want some resources to help you think through what to cook and how to make supper easy-peasy, try some of my favorites:
- Dinner: A Love Story – Jenny is devoted to helping you get dinner on the table and so much more
- Mel’s Kitchen Cafe – Mel is a mom of five who started her blog to share recipes with family – and you
Kids in the Kitchen
Another key is to get your children involved in the cooking. If you start this early in their lives, they are more likely to stick with it later. That said, my oldest never enjoyed cooking and now that he’s in his teens, he wants to learn so he doesn’t live strictly on Ramen when he moves out. We have used Raddish to give us a nudge towards the boys being included in cooking. Also, we have ordered Blue Apron in the past. You might want to check out these blogs for some fun ideas about including kids in the kitchen:
- Fork and Beans – a blog with a mission to make food fun
- Jamie Oliver “Get Kids Cooking” – a section of this blog is devoted to kids in the kitchen
- My Pinterest Board “Kids in the Kitchen” – I’ve collected a bunch of websites and recipes for you
Three Key Ingredients
Once you’ve planned your meals and have cooked at home you need a game plan for what to do around the table. Be sure to include a few key ingredients to make memories and tie your heartstrings together as a family. I’m going to suggest the three we incorporate and you can pick and choose what fits your family. Don’t give up if these don’t work the first go round. We’ve had devotions where a referee seemed to be needed. Sometimes our sharing was bo-ring. It’s okay. Press on mama. Your commitment will pay off in time.
photo by pexels
{I don’t need to say “no screens at the table,” so I’m not going to say that here. If for some reason you know a family where this is an issue, you can suggest they have a basket they pass to collect all electronics at the start of the meal. Not your family, I know. Another family.}
- Start the meal with a prayer. If you want to add a short devotion, please do.
- Make it fun. A great resource for this is to use table talk cards or gather some ideas like –> these from the six-o-clock scramble.
- Share something meaningful. Our family often shares our “highs/lows” from the day, three things we are grateful for, or a “God sighting” (where we saw God move in our life or someone else’s life that day).
Once you have a family supper habit established, start planning to include others regularly. One of our goals this year is to share our table with friends more often.
The benefits of a family supper are numerous. I hope you gather together soon and often. You will never regret time spent together around your table.
