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Savannah Scott Romcom Author

How to Mother Effectively Through Uncertain Times

April 24, 2020 By Patty 2 Comments

24 Apr

As I sit writing this, we are in the middle of the Covid-19 shelter-at-home experience. Over a month ago we were told to stay home so that the spread of the virus could be contained and as many people as possible could be protected from infection. To say these have been an unexpected and uncertain times would be a gross understatement. I don’t know about you, but I’m assuming you are a lot like me. During a typical season of life I plan out my days and weeks. We stay purposely active with chosen activities including work, church, education, hobbies, and extracurriculars. We regularly gather with friends and neighbors. All of that has changed.

Uncertainty should be expected

It doesn’t take a pandemic for uncertain times to descend upon our families. Sometimes upheaval comes through a health crisis, a move, a job loss or change, or a significant relationship gone south. Last year our entire kitchen flooded when our trusty fridge started leaking under all the flooring without us even knowing. We had to have fans that sounded like the tarmac of an airport going 24/7, we couldn’t cook in our kitchen for weeks. All the walls were torn out at least three feet up from the floor. Then the reconstruction began. We tried to keep life going as close to what it had been, but obviously we had to adjust.

Uncertain times can come unexpectedly

photo courtesy of nolan issac

So, what do we do in times like this? As we are going through the uncertain times of being sheltered at home through the pandemic, I’m talking to many other moms. Some of us are thriving, and some not so much. All of us are having to make adjustments, and every one of us has had some seriously hard days, or even weeks. I have five tips I think will help us as we go through seasons of upheaval when the normal routines of life are turned upside down and we need to recalibrate.

Fill Your Tank

While it may seem obvious, making sure of our own self-care is sometimes the last thing we remember to do. In times of crisis we can be extra distracted and depleted. We need to tend our own needs more, not less. Depending on the circumstances we might have to get super creative to fill our own tank. Whether you entered motherhood as an extrovert or introvert, I’d venture to say you now want time to yourself in ways you never did before having children. No one is going to step up and make sure that happens. You have to build it in.

While I’m not a big proponent for using screens as babysitters, desperate times call for desperate measures, so strategically plan for screen time and make use of it to get your own kid-free quiet time. Maybe, if you are able, have your spouse or another support person spend time with your children while you get out and away. Remember, if your tank is empty, you have no reserves to parent from, and that is a surefire recipe for disaster.  

Give Yourself Grace

When we are grieving or adjusting to majorly uncertain times, we can’t expect ourselves to keep up all the things we are used to doing. We have to lower our expectations of ourselves and those around us. For the first week of this shelter-in-place order, I was working on writing a new book. By the time the second week of seclusion rolled around, the grief, boredom, and lack of direction caught up with me. I just wanted to sit escaping into novels instead of facing life.

uncertain times may make us want to hunker down and escape

photo courtesy of fabiola penalba

I did keep up with most of my obligations. I cooked supper (and sometimes, yes, ordered out pizza or tacos), but I let other things slide. We have to do whatever gets us through a tough season and let go of what doesn’t fit at that time. Now, by week five of this ordeal, I’m feeling my motivation surge back (even enough so that I wrote this post and two guest posts this week!) The point is to allow yourself to go with whatever your energy level and grief demands without beating yourself up for it. 

Know Your End Game

It’s easy in tough times to get shortsighted. We can become overwhelmed with the tantrums, sibling quarrels, and constant demands of motherhood. Everything is magnified during uncertain times. Normalcy is out the window. In times like this we need to remember our long-term vision. For me, I know the ultimate purposes of my life are to become more and more like Jesus. This isn’t something I muster on my own effort, but I do have to work with God – allowing trials to work their magic in and through me. I also know my aim is to be a blessing; to lead others to God; and to help those who are broken and hurting. If I can focus on the bigger picture, my life regains purpose through hard days. 

During uncertain times we need to look at the bigger picture

photo courtesy of vaun0815 on unsplash

Build in Routine

Children thrive on routine. I’m not talking about structuring every 15 minutes on a color-coded whiteboard. If that’s your family’s jam, go for it. What I want to remind you (and me) of is how helpful it can be to the whole family when the day and week follow some sense of predictable pattern. If, every day after lunch, the whole family takes and hour of quiet solitude in their rooms, children won’t fight this. The flow will lead them to comply. Having a routine and rhythm of your day helps things flow smoothly for you and them. That doesn’t mean no one will ever test limits or try to bend boundaries. It means you will have some expectations and like water running down a rut, the routine helps things flow in a predictable direction. 

kids thrive with routine through uncertain times

photo courtesy of jessica lewis

Plan for Your Children’s Basic Needs

We already talked about how we moms need time alone to refresh, or time connecting with other adults. In the same way your children have needs. When their needs go unmet, they let you know, and it’s not always pretty when they do. Your children need time with you, constructive things to do, and positive feedback. Left to themselves, children don’t always make the best choices. It helps, especially in uncertain times, to plan in ways that you can meet your children’s basic needs so that they are able to be their best. This is one of those things where an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. 

I hope these tips help you weather any challenging or crisis situation you encounter as a family. I’m here to support you in your motherhood journey. 


Would you like to receive weekly encouragement for your motherhood? Get a little inspiration, one book recommendation, and one recipe a week in my weekly letter.

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    Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: burn out, grace, Morning Routines, Perseverance, Self-Care, Suffering

    About Patty

    I write to encourage your heart, feed your soul, and give you wisdom for your life. Motherhood is my passion. I've been married to my surfer/skater husband for over 20 years.  We have two boys and a home full of neighbor kids most days.

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    Comments

    1. Melissa Hoyle says

      April 29, 2020 at 9:24 PM

      Such great wisdom! Especially to fill our tanks. I tell all the other moms to do this and yet I found myself running on fumes. In the chaos of all this, I had forsaken that basic and simple step I usually ensure I make a priority. I wasn’t doing too good as a mom after 6 weeks and then finally my husband and I agreed for me to go take a break and I feel a billion times better!

      And, routine! Yes!! So important!

      Reply
      • Patty says

        May 6, 2020 at 11:31 AM

        Melissa, I know! I prescribe what I need to take myself. So very glad you got a break. We need reminders to do what we know. I’m so glad you came here and joined the conversation. Blessings as you mother through unpredictable times. ~ Patty

        Reply

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    Ahhhh … enemies to more. 🔥 The banter is so f Ahhhh … enemies to more. 🔥
The banter is so fun!

Chris and Ella Mae start out getting on one another’s nerves … then, due to completely unexpected circumstances, they end up fake dating … and then they drive one another crazy in a whole different sense of the phrase 😉🥰

Ripped & Shipped comes out early May. I’m about 🤏 close to finishing it and sending it to my editor.

ARC Team sign ups will be coming for ebooks on Saturday (Apr 1). Paperback team is already selected and will be getting a welcome email by this weekend. 

We are going to have so much fun launching this book! I can’t even tell you the feelings I have … wrapping up this first Bordeaux series, writing this story that’s full of heart, and laughs, and kisses that make you grab a glass of ice water and fan yourself. 🔥😘🧊💦🫠

I’m so grateful you’re along for the ride. There aren’t words for the sweetness of sharing the Getting Shipped series with you. 💕

(And I’ve been loosely plotting the next series and getting excited as I start writing the Love Trippin’ books.) 💕

Do you love enemies to lovers?
Fake dating? 
Let me know … 

#wipwednesday #workinprogress #amwritingromance #amwritingromcom
#romcombooks #sweetromcom #closeddoorromance #closeddoorromcom
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    Okay. So. Yes, we are still waiting for Ripped & Okay. So. 
Yes, we are still waiting for Ripped & Shipped to come out and be in your happy little hands on May 1st. 

But, authors are always (usually) a book ahead of the readers. 

And, this time, I’m a whole series ahead. 

I’m thinking about “Are We There Yet?” It’s the first book in the Love Trippin’ series. 

Four people from Bordeaux (yes!!) are traveling to California where the next series takes place. 

This first book takes place over a road trip (after a few chapters in Bordeaux, and before the later chapters in Cali).

So, I want to plan this road trip!
Im a road-tripper, and I grew up spending summers traveling from state to state with my family. 

I know my road trip stories. 
I want to hear YOURS! 
Leave it in the comments or DM me. 🚗🌳🚧🏔️

I’m not going to use your exact story, of course. But, if your story inspires something in the book, I’ll send you a free sticker and bookmark when “Are We There Yet” releases this summer. 

I’m so excited to share this new series with you!

#lovetrippin #lovetrippinseries #savannahscottauthor #savannahscott #romcombooks #sweetromcom #sweetromance #closeddoorromance #closeddoorromcom #romcombooksaremyweakness #romcomreadersofinstagram #romancereadersofinstagram #bookstagram #roadtrippin #roadtripromance #roadtrippin #arewethereyet #arewethereyetbook
    Writing retreat A few days on the central coast. Writing retreat 

A few days on the central coast. 

Views. 
Good food. 
Sweet conversation 
Getting so close to finishing Ripped & Shipped. 

Dreaming about the next series. 
Thinking about how to bless moms and women 

#writingretreat #amwriting #amwritingromance #amwritingromcom #romcomauthor #romcomreadersofinstagram #romancereadersofinstagram #bookstagram #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #cambriacalifornia #centralcoast #slocounty #moonstonebeach
    Would the Rob & Laura fans raise your hands? 🙋🏼‍♀️

My husband and I are listening to the audiobook of Battleshipped together right now. It takes us forever because: life. But, it’s been fun to revisit their story. 

If you love a slightly geeky leading man, a strong female lead with a loyal heart and a persevering spirit, Battleshipped is for you. 

If you love second chance romcom with a dash of enemies to more, Battleshipped has all the “working hard to win her heart back” vibes. 

If you love laughing out loud until people look at you funny while you read. Yeah. There are those scenes. 

If you love a found-family friend group, and a quirky small town that will win your heart, come to Bordeaux. 

QOTD: Do you love when a brainy male lead becomes your book boyfriend? Which brainy male characters have stolen your heart? 

#battleshipped #battleshippedbook #bookexcerpt #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #smalltownromancebooks #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #secondchanceromance #goatsgoatsgoats #bordeauxohio #bookboyfriend #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #ohiolove #bookstagram #bookstagrammers
    Is it Wednesday? Um no. No it is not. But, do y Is it Wednesday? 
Um no. No it is not. 

But, do you still want this #WIPWednesday teaser from Ripped & Shipped? Why yes, yes you do. 

I’ll tell y’all. This book is coming along. And it is scrum-diddly-umptious. 

We’re talking banterrrrrr!
And all the swoony enemy vibes. 

And then they start faking! 
What? yasssss. They fake. The enemies start to fake a romance. 

Then … a completely unexpected and sweeeet friendship develops. 

But, ruh-roh. One of them catches feelings (just quoting Duke here). 

And it gets so HOT ( in a very closed-door way) and so HEARTFELT. 

This story is special. It’s the last in Bordeaux. So I’m pouring it all out into this book. 

You’ve got Memaw, Esther, and Mabel. 
The Bordeaux friend group. 
Lulabelle 
Ella Mae
Cooter
And so much more. 

I’m not kidding when I say this may be my fave in series. 

And you know what it means when I say I’m about 3/4 done writing? Yep. I just might release this story in May … ARC Team wannabes, lace up your running shoes. I’ll be posting opportunities to join the few open spots the first week of April. ❤️

Wait til you see the cover, too. Gah. I love it!! 

#rippedandshipped #workinprogress #amwriting
#amwritingromance #amwritingromcom
#romcombooks #sweetromance #sweetromcom
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    Heyyyyy ARC Team! If you were on the ARC team fo Heyyyyy ARC Team! 

If you were on the ARC team for Cruiseshipped, our exclusive ARC Team only book chat is coming!

Tomorrow (Thursday March 23) at 5p PT we’ll be gathering on zoom to talk about Cruiseshipped. 

I’m so grateful to each one of you for reading, sharing, and reviewing Cruiseshipped. ❤️ 

So … mark your calendars and set your alarms (and a countdown is in my stories!) and let’s talk all things Brooks + Gabby ❤️🚢💃🏻

#cruiseshipped #cruiseshippedbook #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #arcteamperks #bookchat #buddyread #ilovemyreaders #authorchat
    Well, I’m back with another #mememonday and this Well, I’m back with another #mememonday and this one is featuring one of my favorite movies EVER: The Princess Bride!

Which slide do you like best? 

And … aside from posting here today, I’m writing! Ripped & Shipped (Chris’ story) is halfway done! 

I’m on a roll now, and my family is going to an amusement park for the day (without me), so I’m alone with Bella and my laptop. 

Then, this weekend, I’ve got a writing retreat. The final book in the Getting Shipped series is going to be written! 

Not saying we won’t have some novellas down the road … mayyyybe we could. (Who would you want to see in a Getting Shipped novella?)

I hope your Monday is GREAT!!

#bookmemes #bookishmemes #princessbride #asyouwish #amwriting #amwritingromcom #romcomauthor #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #rippedandshipped #gettingshippedseries
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