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Savannah Scott Romcom Author

What happens when you unplug for six weeks

August 9, 2018 By Patty 10 Comments

9 Aug

I love my cell phone.  While we’re at it, I couldn’t really live the way I do without my laptop.  I’m no tech-guru (I know just enough to be dangerous), but I truly appreciate all we have gained through the gadgets and social media we have at our fingertips.  Sometimes I appreciate technology too much.  I have been known to sit with my computer open for hours, typing away at a book manuscript or working on reports for my paid job.

photo courtesy of ivory mix

Over the years of motherhood, I’ve tried to gracefully incorporate the elements of life that call me away from being directly accessible to my family.  We home educate.  Translation: my kids and I are in each others’ faces pretty much round the clock.  I work from home.  I write this blog and books.  In order to do well as a mom, a writer, and an employee, I sort of have to do a balancing act like the guy who spins all those plates on sticks.  Keeping multiple things going used to stress me out.  I don’t know about you, but I tended to share my stress with those I love most.  My family paid the price for my overwhelm.  Something had to give.

Resisting the Magnetic Pull of Social Media

A few years back I conceded that Facebook had a grip on me.  Like a Pavlovian dog, I would jump at every little beep notifying me someone had liked something or replied to a post comment.  Embarrassing, yet true.  Lent came around and I decided to give up Facebook for 40 days.  It was hard, but something amazing happened in the process.  I no longer flinched at notifications.  I wrangled free of the internal hold I had allowed social media to have on my time and impulses.  My family and I engaged more with one another.  Being offline allowed me to be more present and engaged in skin-on relationships.

photo courtesy of bewakoof.com

Since I don’t think Facebook is from the devil (that’s another post entirely), I got back on.  It gave me such perspective and restored my self-control to take that break.  Returning to social media after that fast was wonderful.  I reengaged with people I missed (some friends at a distance and some connections I have in groups).  The best part was, I didn’t feel the push to be excessively engaged, check status updates, click through when notified.  My time away restored my ability to choose well.  As I say to my boys: master your habits, don’t let your habits master you.  

Taking Regular Breaks 

Since that experience, I regularly give myself time off social media.  Guess what?  Life goes on and very few people seem to notice I’m absent.  They don’t host a social-media funeral for me.  They keep posting and engaging as though my presence mattered very little.  As humbling as that is, I think it’s super-healthy.  I am not the crux of anyone’s existence and my interactions online are not the key to their survival, encouragement. or entertainment.  Refreshing perspective.

photo courtesy of noah silliman

This summer I decided another fast was needed.  As I posted on Facebook and Instagram, “Summer is a great time to take a break.  I’m taking a vacay from Facebook and Instagram.  No social media for summer.  I want to invest in my children, focus on writing, and process some emotions over a few situations we’ve endured this year.  That all means setting aside time and it also means not numbing myself with the ease of turning on a screen to scroll.  I love connecting with people on Facebook.  Super-love it.  That said, it’s time for a break.  See you all August 1st.”  With that, I unplugged.  I had to arrange “substitute leaders” for my Intentional Motherhood Group.  Otherwise, I was out.

Weaning Isn’t Pretty, or Is It?

The first few days I found myself facing the temptation to post whenever my younger son said something cute.  Oh, seriously?  Yep.  This only confirmed to me how entrenched I had become in social media again.  I took those desires to “post” and turned them into prayers or into texts (sharing the sweetness with a friend).  Over the initial week, I felt fewer urges to go online and I found myself clocking more steps on my Fitbit, laughing with my family more often, and spending time pausing to take in the sweetness of summer.

heartshomeward.com

image by heartshomeward

I also wrote.  And wrote.  And wrote.  I finished the book I started in April, “Slow Down, Mama!: Intentional Living in a Hurried World.”  I took a trip to see friends in Texas.  Y’all the pie was worth the trip alone!!  I’m still working it off a few weeks later.  Most of all, I recalibrated.  In the middle of these six weeks off God moved a few mountains in a crucial situation.  It’s been quite a summer.

A Careful Re-Entry

When I got back online, I found everyone I missed still there, willing to have me back.  I chose carefully where to re-engage.  My time online is intentionally less than before.  I purposely turn off the phone and the laptop and play a game or make slime with my son (yes, I do make slime).  I’m living out what I’m writing.  I’m savoring life and I’m setting the tone for what healthy use of screens can look like.

Now that I’m using social media again, I’ve decided to adopt a new practice to keep the talons from ensnaring me as they always seem to do.  I’m taking Fridays and Sundays to completely unplug.  No computer, TV, or phone (except to answer calls or personal texts).  Here’s what I don’t want: to look back on this season of motherhood and family life remembering how consistently I posted online, how regularly I blogged, or how many followers I accrued.  Instead, I want to cultivate a life smattered with memories of slowing down for what matters most.  That means a little less Facebook and a lot more face-to-face time with my people.

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Filed Under: Parenting, Time Management

About Patty

I write to encourage your heart, feed your soul, and give you wisdom for your life. Motherhood is my passion. I've been married to my surfer/skater husband for over 20 years.  We have two boys and a home full of neighbor kids most days.

« Passion for Your Purpose
How to Survive When Summer Collides into Fall »

Comments

  1. christartist says

    August 16, 2018 at 7:18 AM

    Patty, I have often been surprised at people jumping when my phone makes notification sounds and then asking me aren’t you going to check that? I learned many years ago that I have an issue with the TV! Netflix and Amazon Prime present a huge problem for me! And now that I don’t have children at home, I can get lost in a binge watching of a season!

    Well my phone and social media Don’t Own Me Like You were sharing, I need to do something about the TV! And not all TV shows are evil! And I have YouTube so that I can play my favorite Christian music videos and I have a Christian linked with tons of Bible studies that I can watch, but when I’m in that binging mode, I don’t go to those, I go to Netflix or Amazon Prime.

    the Bible says confess your faults one to another that you may be healed. I am confessing my fault to you and publicly and asking the Lord to give me strength to break this connection. Actually, needing to sit in the recliner for hours on end has not helped with this, but now that I can sit up and I can write and I can read and I can talk to others about their books, I can cut my TV watching Talon down. I like the Friday and Sunday fast idea!

    you fill my life with so much encouragement and edification! I am so thankful that I can call you friend!

    Reply
    • Patty says

      August 17, 2018 at 3:06 PM

      Christy,
      I think your current situation of recovering from all you went through makes it hard not to be engaged with screens more than usual. I am praying with you to cut the cord on the TV (not literally 😉 ) and to be able to spend more time in what gives life to your soul. Making use of screens a little is never bad (well, rarely). I said to a friend the other day, it feels like leaving the gate to the pig pen open. You let a little more in than you had intended and before you know it, things get out of control. The good thing is we can always fast again to dial it back in.

      Reply
      • Christi Wildman says

        August 17, 2018 at 3:39 PM

        Yep… As I’m healing, it’s less and less tv time! Except the my Bible a prayer book and music are on my phone as well as books! 😉

        Interesting… When I’m in a hotel with Jim, traveling… Never any tv… Writing or art or enjoying the beauty of God’s creation!

        Reply
        • Patty says

          August 18, 2018 at 9:28 AM

          I’m thinking: there’s a season for everything. Sometimes it is time to “come away, eat, and rest.” Screens, in moderation, are good for that. Love you, Christy.

          Reply
  2. olajumoke_a says

    August 16, 2018 at 8:19 AM

    This is such a wonderful post. I also wanted to unplug a few months back but I didn’t bring myself to actually doing it and with this I think I am willing to give it a go. I’m an extrovert and yet still an introvert. Weird right but I noticed that I hardly spend time wothy family even when everyone is home , I’ll end up confining myself to my room, watching a movie or on my phone. I think it’s time I take a break and actually spend time with my family, my siblings especially because slowly it seems like they are growing up so fast and are gonna even grow to the level that I can’t talk to them because of how much time I spend alone. Thank you for this

    http://www.memoswithlove.wordpress.com

    Reply
    • Patty says

      August 17, 2018 at 3:02 PM

      I’m so grateful that you came to Hearts Homeward and that you were encouraged! You won’t regret unplugging. I guarantee it. There’s always that little twinge of wanting to log on, but that passes. I’m rooting for you!

      Reply
  3. Horace Williams Jr. says

    August 18, 2018 at 12:59 PM

    I believe this is my first or second visit ti your site, Patty. I thoroughly enjoyed your post and I can appreciate your perspective here. I admit I was not on facebook too much before my stroke. However, when I began taking my first steps in rehab, my Physical therapist recorded me walking and I posted on FB. My friends and co-workers were thrilled to see this update on my improving health.However, I do love your comment that no funereal was held while you were away. I have noticed something similar as I focus writing more consistently during the Summer. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate the insights you’ve shared. I hope you have a wonderful and may god continue to bless you and yours in all your endeavors.

    Reply
    • Patty says

      August 18, 2018 at 2:07 PM

      Horace, you are such an encourager. I’m grateful for your visit here and your perspective. I would love to share your book when it’s finished. Let me know the timing and I will let the people who follow me know about it. You are called to do what you are doing, for sure.

      Reply
  4. Juanita Deloris says

    September 13, 2018 at 9:28 PM

    What a wonderful post! We all have something don’t we? I have noticed people who seem to forget they were not born with a cell phone and social media. When I started blogging in 2016 is when I got a cell phone for the first time and really startd divig into the world of social media. Because of what I had noticed about how easily one can become addicted to all of this stuff, I purposefully refused to let it “happen to me.” I take regular breaks, I don’t keep my phone with me at all times, and oftentimes my volume is low so I don’t even hear every notification. What you have shared is so important. Sometimes we have to step back, regroup, so that we can handle technology instead of technology handling us.
    Thanks for sharing!!

    Reply
    • Patty says

      September 13, 2018 at 9:41 PM

      Such wisdom, Juanita! I have made some sweet connections with other writers online and that has been a blessing. Still, I have to watch myself to ensure I am setting aside screens regularly. I love the intentionality of the way you went about this. You are a great example!! I also love this: “So that we can handle technology instead of technology handling us.” I always tell my boys, “Control your habits or your habits will control you.” Thanks so much for sharing here!

      Reply

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Ahhhh … enemies to more. 🔥 The banter is so f Ahhhh … enemies to more. 🔥
The banter is so fun!

Chris and Ella Mae start out getting on one another’s nerves … then, due to completely unexpected circumstances, they end up fake dating … and then they drive one another crazy in a whole different sense of the phrase 😉🥰

Ripped & Shipped comes out early May. I’m about 🤏 close to finishing it and sending it to my editor.

ARC Team sign ups will be coming for ebooks on Saturday (Apr 1). Paperback team is already selected and will be getting a welcome email by this weekend. 

We are going to have so much fun launching this book! I can’t even tell you the feelings I have … wrapping up this first Bordeaux series, writing this story that’s full of heart, and laughs, and kisses that make you grab a glass of ice water and fan yourself. 🔥😘🧊💦🫠

I’m so grateful you’re along for the ride. There aren’t words for the sweetness of sharing the Getting Shipped series with you. 💕

(And I’ve been loosely plotting the next series and getting excited as I start writing the Love Trippin’ books.) 💕

Do you love enemies to lovers?
Fake dating? 
Let me know … 

#wipwednesday #workinprogress #amwritingromance #amwritingromcom
#romcombooks #sweetromcom #closeddoorromance #closeddoorromcom
#savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #bordeauxohio #bordeauxohioforever #newrelease #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #lovestories #rippedandshipped #chellamaebae #rippedandshippedbook #bookstagrammers #bookstagram #romcom #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #bookexcerpt #shippers #Imashipper #Smalltownromance #ohiolove #smalltownromancebooks
Okay. So. Yes, we are still waiting for Ripped & Okay. So. 
Yes, we are still waiting for Ripped & Shipped to come out and be in your happy little hands on May 1st. 

But, authors are always (usually) a book ahead of the readers. 

And, this time, I’m a whole series ahead. 

I’m thinking about “Are We There Yet?” It’s the first book in the Love Trippin’ series. 

Four people from Bordeaux (yes!!) are traveling to California where the next series takes place. 

This first book takes place over a road trip (after a few chapters in Bordeaux, and before the later chapters in Cali).

So, I want to plan this road trip!
Im a road-tripper, and I grew up spending summers traveling from state to state with my family. 

I know my road trip stories. 
I want to hear YOURS! 
Leave it in the comments or DM me. 🚗🌳🚧🏔️

I’m not going to use your exact story, of course. But, if your story inspires something in the book, I’ll send you a free sticker and bookmark when “Are We There Yet” releases this summer. 

I’m so excited to share this new series with you!

#lovetrippin #lovetrippinseries #savannahscottauthor #savannahscott #romcombooks #sweetromcom #sweetromance #closeddoorromance #closeddoorromcom #romcombooksaremyweakness #romcomreadersofinstagram #romancereadersofinstagram #bookstagram #roadtrippin #roadtripromance #roadtrippin #arewethereyet #arewethereyetbook
Writing retreat A few days on the central coast. Writing retreat 

A few days on the central coast. 

Views. 
Good food. 
Sweet conversation 
Getting so close to finishing Ripped & Shipped. 

Dreaming about the next series. 
Thinking about how to bless moms and women 

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Would the Rob & Laura fans raise your hands? 🙋🏼‍♀️

My husband and I are listening to the audiobook of Battleshipped together right now. It takes us forever because: life. But, it’s been fun to revisit their story. 

If you love a slightly geeky leading man, a strong female lead with a loyal heart and a persevering spirit, Battleshipped is for you. 

If you love second chance romcom with a dash of enemies to more, Battleshipped has all the “working hard to win her heart back” vibes. 

If you love laughing out loud until people look at you funny while you read. Yeah. There are those scenes. 

If you love a found-family friend group, and a quirky small town that will win your heart, come to Bordeaux. 

QOTD: Do you love when a brainy male lead becomes your book boyfriend? Which brainy male characters have stolen your heart? 

#battleshipped #battleshippedbook #bookexcerpt #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #smalltownromancebooks #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #secondchanceromance #goatsgoatsgoats #bordeauxohio #bookboyfriend #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #ohiolove #bookstagram #bookstagrammers
Is it Wednesday? Um no. No it is not. But, do y Is it Wednesday? 
Um no. No it is not. 

But, do you still want this #WIPWednesday teaser from Ripped & Shipped? Why yes, yes you do. 

I’ll tell y’all. This book is coming along. And it is scrum-diddly-umptious. 

We’re talking banterrrrrr!
And all the swoony enemy vibes. 

And then they start faking! 
What? yasssss. They fake. The enemies start to fake a romance. 

Then … a completely unexpected and sweeeet friendship develops. 

But, ruh-roh. One of them catches feelings (just quoting Duke here). 

And it gets so HOT ( in a very closed-door way) and so HEARTFELT. 

This story is special. It’s the last in Bordeaux. So I’m pouring it all out into this book. 

You’ve got Memaw, Esther, and Mabel. 
The Bordeaux friend group. 
Lulabelle 
Ella Mae
Cooter
And so much more. 

I’m not kidding when I say this may be my fave in series. 

And you know what it means when I say I’m about 3/4 done writing? Yep. I just might release this story in May … ARC Team wannabes, lace up your running shoes. I’ll be posting opportunities to join the few open spots the first week of April. ❤️

Wait til you see the cover, too. Gah. I love it!! 

#rippedandshipped #workinprogress #amwriting
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Heyyyyy ARC Team! If you were on the ARC team fo Heyyyyy ARC Team! 

If you were on the ARC team for Cruiseshipped, our exclusive ARC Team only book chat is coming!

Tomorrow (Thursday March 23) at 5p PT we’ll be gathering on zoom to talk about Cruiseshipped. 

I’m so grateful to each one of you for reading, sharing, and reviewing Cruiseshipped. ❤️ 

So … mark your calendars and set your alarms (and a countdown is in my stories!) and let’s talk all things Brooks + Gabby ❤️🚢💃🏻

#cruiseshipped #cruiseshippedbook #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #arcteamperks #bookchat #buddyread #ilovemyreaders #authorchat
Well, I’m back with another #mememonday and this Well, I’m back with another #mememonday and this one is featuring one of my favorite movies EVER: The Princess Bride!

Which slide do you like best? 

And … aside from posting here today, I’m writing! Ripped & Shipped (Chris’ story) is halfway done! 

I’m on a roll now, and my family is going to an amusement park for the day (without me), so I’m alone with Bella and my laptop. 

Then, this weekend, I’ve got a writing retreat. The final book in the Getting Shipped series is going to be written! 

Not saying we won’t have some novellas down the road … mayyyybe we could. (Who would you want to see in a Getting Shipped novella?)

I hope your Monday is GREAT!!

#bookmemes #bookishmemes #princessbride #asyouwish #amwriting #amwritingromcom #romcomauthor #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #rippedandshipped #gettingshippedseries
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