learn to make the most of the difficult days of motherhood

Motherhood brings me some of the greatest joy I experience.  You know? 

When my first son was born after 48 hours of serious labor followed by an emergency C-section, I cried as I held him.  My repeated, unbridled exclamations of, “I love you!” followed him as the nurses took him to be cleaned up.  (Ah, the delirium of delivery!) 

My heart has been echoing that love ever since. 

My youngest came into our family unexpectedly.  We had given up hope of another child when we found out I was pregnant.  I can’t imagine life without this spirited, tender, silly presence in our family.

CHALLENGES AT EVERY STAGE

As much as I love these boys, we experience our share of hard times.  Children test our limits, stretch our capacity to hold it all together and just plain wear us out. 

In the toddler years, they try on the word “no” in every imaginable form, from the flailing tantrum to declarations emphasized with a stomped foot. 

As preschoolers, they are convinced they can do everything themselves – including drawing murals on our walls, spilling the contents of the pantry as they “help” in the kitchen, and tracking mud through the freshly cleaned home after they complete a gardening project which involved de-heading all our flowers. 

When they hit school age, we endure the wrestling over assignments, and refusals to adhere to bedtime or screen limits.  They fight with siblings.  Any time we feel the need for speed, they dawdle.  When we want agreement we find they have minds of their own. 

Then they hit pre-adolescence and become resident experts who sometimes contend with our opinions and decisions at every turn.  

CHERISHING THE GOODNESS

Through it all, we experience a quiet longing for time to stand still so we can fully cherish the gift God has given us in allowing us to influence and shape their lives and hearts. 

As bystanders, we delight as they imagine worlds of their own design with friends.  Our homes and yards become filled with mundane objects they have made into treasures.  They see beauty in the simple things and usually tell it like it is. 

You don’t need my words to encourage you through the amazing wonder of the sweet moments of motherhood.  If anything, you need my reminder to make room in your schedule to pause and eat up every drop of goodness.

MOTHERHOOD IS NOT ALWAYS EASY

The tougher times may come in the form of an afternoon when your child hasn’t taken a nap.  Grumpy and unsettled, she cries at the drop of a hat, whines and complains.  You feel like someone took sandpaper to your nervous system. 

It might be that one of your children constantly picks on the other or takes a bossy and unsettling tone.  The resulting squabbles unearth the peace in your home, making it more like a war zone than a haven. 

Maybe your teenager takes everything you say to heart.  Misunderstanding and blame permeate your relationship and you feel weary of the challenge of raising an adolescent. 

I’M RIGHT THERE WITH YOU

My husband and I are parenting our oldest through his teen years.  He’s amazing {take it from me} and also can push every living button I have. 

As I have been taking my relationship with him to God in prayer, I received a word of comfort from the Scripture.  I thought it might be a blessing to you so I created a free print out (see link at the end of this post)

Sometimes we need a “how to” and on other occasions, we need a “me too.”  I’m standing shoulder to shoulder with you as we walk the harder roads of motherhood – loving these children through difficulties and hanging onto God with both hands.   

LEARNING RELEASE

Motherhood takes us on a roller coaster ride.  God uses the twists and turns to refine us.   He has been teaching me increasing dependence upon Him as I reluctantly {you heard me} release my children to Him.  We all can give lip service to the “They are His, not mine,” statements.  We want to mean it.  Below the surface, we feel these are our people.  We own them and direct them.  We determine the outcome of their lives.  It’s easy to believe we hold a key to their destiny. 

While we must do all we can to help them prosper, we need to simultaneously understand we are not the director, Holy Spirit or determining factor in their life. 

THE TRUTH SETS US FREE

Our children really ARE His.  He cares more than we do – infinitely more.  As their Good Shepherd, He knows them intimately.  We can trust His Father-love for our children.  

There are no perfect parents.  This includes me, you and every other person we know.  We all fail at times.  The question is how to move on beyond failure and the guilt that often goes with our imperfections.  

We cannot direct their lives.  Our children each have a will of their own.  While we commit to pray over and pour into them, when all is said and done, we must release them.  This means allowing room for failure, for pain, for heartache.  Without that space to fall, how on earth will they ever soar?

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In my book, Parenting Your Teen Through Chaos and Crisis, I share about learning to release our children along with the blessing to both us and them when we do.  I have put together eight concise and practical chapters to cover various aspects of learning to transition well into this stage of motherhood as well as thriving through it. 

You can purchase the print version or ebook on Amazon.com.  

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Join my email list for details on how to get your specific parenting questions answered as well as how to be entered to win a Kindle Fire when you purchase the book on our official launch day, February 28th, 2018.  

If you want to learn more about my availability to come speak to your group, you can hear a clip of me speaking or feel free to visit my page at Christian Women Speakers. 

Click here to download my free encouragement and hope for enduring the difficult days of motherhood (Rom 3:3-5)