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Savannah Scott Romcom Author

Saying “No” to the Good to Make Room for the Best

January 10, 2019 By Patty 8 Comments

10 Jan

Whew! It’s been one of those weeks. You know the ones. I had my calendar and goal planners all neatly laid out. My priorities each fit into time slots. I made sure there was margin around the edges. I blocked off time for family, friends, solitude with God, and planned every meal. My “no” answers had been intentional so I could clear room to focus well. Then real life hit full force.

Life on Life’s Terms

My teen son went out with friends, and during their evening together he was climbing a cinder block wall. Don’t ask. He fell and landed on his hand the wrong way. We got the call at 8:45p that a friend was driving him home so we could take him to an Emergency Room because he thought he had broken his finger. Whatever a nurse is, I’m the opposite. I curdle at the sight of any injury. While I’m normally strong and able to stand by anyone through a crisis, medical stuff is not my forte.

In case you are like me, I won’t tell you the details. Let’s suffice it to say I was hyperventilating and made him get in the back seat so I didn’t have to look at the injury while I drove him to Urgent Care, then to ER (because Urgent Care didn’t help). Four hours, three X-Rays, two nurses, and one doctor later, we left the hospital at 1:00 am with his finger realigned and splinted.

Intentional living doesn't always work out our way

photo courtesy of istock photos

Surrender to Win

That was the beginning of this week which sort-of spiraled away from there. On Sunday we sang “Surrounded – This Is How I Fight My Battles.” We may feel encircled by enemies and hardship, but the deeper reality is that we are surrounded by God. That song was on replay throughout this week – a lifeline to remind me of God’s hand and presence when I feel like I’m drowning in to-dos, needs, crises, and emotions. I realized at some point that how I fight my battles is to surrender. Another great Christian irony.

At this point, you might be thinking, “Wait a minute. I thought you were writing a post about intentional living.” You are right. I am. Let’s get something straight first. We can plan, organize, outline, and color code to our little heart’s content, but we will not dictate the circumstances in our lives. In the middle of prayer time with God this week, I heard Him nudge, “You don’t pick the circumstances. You do get to choose your responses.”

Choosing with Intention

With that foundation laid, let’s talk about choosing well. Thankfully most weeks and seasons aren’t as chaotic and disarming as my past week has been. When we are hit with a double-whammy, we need to recalibrate, dial back, and call in support. When the storm passes, and we are back on solid ground, we can live life at a normal click. For many of us, that speed resembles life on the German Autobahn. We zoom from one event to the next with children trailing behind us.

We need to be Intentional about our choices of activities

photo courtesy of bing images

As I shared in a video in The Encouraging Motherhood Community on Facebook this week, we all have a capacity, and like it or not, it’s limited. I used a bag to demonstrate what happens when we overstuff our lives by saying “yes” to everything – even good things – and end up with no room to breathe, dropping important commitments or tasks, and carrying more weight than we were meant to bear. 

In one of my favorite books ever, “The Best Yes,” Lysa TerKeurst shares about how we need to choose well. In our day and age, we are inundated with choices. Distractions abound. Staying on track and choosing well is harder than ever. We have to be intentional if we are going to live a life of purpose and contentment.

We need to be intentional about friendship

photo courtesy of david zawila

Living on Purpose

I do a few things to make sure my yes answers go to the very best activities and priorities. I start by defining my purpose. Every 90 days I revisit this process to clarify further. When we know what we are meant to do with our lives and our time, it becomes a lot easier to say “no” to what isn’t a fit for us. We have to accept that we won’t fit in every living thing. We are going to have to say “no” – a lot. Each “yes” answer has hundreds of hidden no answers in its shadow. If I’m only going to read a certain number of books, spend recreational time with particular people, go on limited vacations, I need to choose well. Sifting our choices through our personal purpose and calling helps us greatly.

If you want to read more about how our family specifically did this, you can check out my article on Kindred Mom called, “How to Make Supper Time Work for Your Family.” I talk about some difficult and important choices we made so we could break bread together more often over here at the Scott home. 

we need to be intentional about having meals together

photo courtesy of brenna huff

Sifting Through Choices

In a very practical sense, I suggest you sit down every so often with a piece of paper or a form (I have some on my website for you if you want to use those) and evaluate your purpose. Then look at what fills your time. Are all the lessons, practices, extracurriculars, volunteer positions, and social engagements lined up with this season of life, your capacity, and your dreams and visions?  When you draw a line out from these activities into the future, are they aiming you towards what matters most to you and those you love? If not, it might be time to make some changes.

Even one degree of difference when sailing can land you in an entirely different destination. The same is true for our choices. You can move your trajectory one step closer to what you want to become and do with this precious life you have been given.

When storms hit, kids are sick, jobs are laid off, unexpected tragedy rolls in, know you may have to dock the boat for a while. It’s okay. God hasn’t lost sight of you in those moments. You will sail again. 


If you want to dive into more practical support about living with intention, my book, Slow Down, Mama: Intentional Living in a Hurried World is available on Amazon. In it, I share my story of going from crazy-busy to purposeful. I help you identify what keeps you busy, and then we go through learning life-giving habits you can apply to make real change that lasts.

Do you get my weekly email? I share inspiration, a book recommendation, and one recipe a week right to your inbox. Sign up today.  

 

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Filed Under: Parenting, Time Management Tagged With: Family Supper, Finding Purpose and Goal Setting, letting go, Rest for Moms

About Patty

I write to encourage your heart, feed your soul, and give you wisdom for your life. Motherhood is my passion. I've been married to my surfer/skater husband for over 20 years.  We have two boys and a home full of neighbor kids most days.

« Making room for new things with an end-of-the year purge
Making peace with your right-now life »

Comments

  1. Dawn Jones says

    January 10, 2019 at 11:19 AM

    Thank you for sharing such a poignant and timely message, Patty. Life is so full, and those types of unexpected surprises tend to push me to the point where I am teetering on the edge. I am trying to learn to build in margin but am still a work in progress. I am so grateful for the wisdom and encouragement you share. Sending extra prayers for you during this season.

    Reply
    • Patty says

      January 10, 2019 at 11:48 AM

      Dawn, I know your week has paralleled mine in many ways. I’m such a work in progress too! God is so merciful to grow us from grace to grace. I love you, friend. Those prayers mean the world to me. I’m praying for you too.

      Reply
  2. Katie Andraski says

    January 12, 2019 at 5:13 PM

    This is so wise and practical. Thank you. What a week you’ve had.

    Reply
    • Patty says

      January 12, 2019 at 5:42 PM

      Thank you, Katie! Truly – such a week. We all have them sometimes. This was our turn. I’m grateful for what came from it. Always, always, God is with us.

      Reply
  3. Beth says

    January 13, 2019 at 5:53 PM

    This sounds so intentional and practical, Patty! I’ll have to check out your other posts and the processes you use. I’ll be pinning this for sure! Thanks so much!

    Reply
    • Patty says

      January 13, 2019 at 8:14 PM

      Beth, thank you! If you need any specific recommendations for posts, let me know. I have more details in Slow Down, Mama: Intentional Living in a Hurried World (my book on Amazon) – which I just put on a reduced sale price today. If you subscribe to my weekly letter, you will get access to my “vault” of freebies. In there I have some helpful forms for doing 90-day planning. I’m here to bless you, so if there is anything I can share to help you, please let me know.

      Reply
  4. Anita Ojeda says

    January 15, 2019 at 8:19 AM

    Great advice, Patty, as I continue to move forward with my ‘Quit Wasting Time’ project!

    Reply
    • Patty says

      January 15, 2019 at 4:18 PM

      That sounds like a worthy project, Anita! I would love to hear the details sometime.

      Reply

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Ahhhh … enemies to more. 🔥 The banter is so f Ahhhh … enemies to more. 🔥
The banter is so fun!

Chris and Ella Mae start out getting on one another’s nerves … then, due to completely unexpected circumstances, they end up fake dating … and then they drive one another crazy in a whole different sense of the phrase 😉🥰

Ripped & Shipped comes out early May. I’m about 🤏 close to finishing it and sending it to my editor.

ARC Team sign ups will be coming for ebooks on Saturday (Apr 1). Paperback team is already selected and will be getting a welcome email by this weekend. 

We are going to have so much fun launching this book! I can’t even tell you the feelings I have … wrapping up this first Bordeaux series, writing this story that’s full of heart, and laughs, and kisses that make you grab a glass of ice water and fan yourself. 🔥😘🧊💦🫠

I’m so grateful you’re along for the ride. There aren’t words for the sweetness of sharing the Getting Shipped series with you. 💕

(And I’ve been loosely plotting the next series and getting excited as I start writing the Love Trippin’ books.) 💕

Do you love enemies to lovers?
Fake dating? 
Let me know … 

#wipwednesday #workinprogress #amwritingromance #amwritingromcom
#romcombooks #sweetromcom #closeddoorromance #closeddoorromcom
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Okay. So. Yes, we are still waiting for Ripped & Okay. So. 
Yes, we are still waiting for Ripped & Shipped to come out and be in your happy little hands on May 1st. 

But, authors are always (usually) a book ahead of the readers. 

And, this time, I’m a whole series ahead. 

I’m thinking about “Are We There Yet?” It’s the first book in the Love Trippin’ series. 

Four people from Bordeaux (yes!!) are traveling to California where the next series takes place. 

This first book takes place over a road trip (after a few chapters in Bordeaux, and before the later chapters in Cali).

So, I want to plan this road trip!
Im a road-tripper, and I grew up spending summers traveling from state to state with my family. 

I know my road trip stories. 
I want to hear YOURS! 
Leave it in the comments or DM me. 🚗🌳🚧🏔️

I’m not going to use your exact story, of course. But, if your story inspires something in the book, I’ll send you a free sticker and bookmark when “Are We There Yet” releases this summer. 

I’m so excited to share this new series with you!

#lovetrippin #lovetrippinseries #savannahscottauthor #savannahscott #romcombooks #sweetromcom #sweetromance #closeddoorromance #closeddoorromcom #romcombooksaremyweakness #romcomreadersofinstagram #romancereadersofinstagram #bookstagram #roadtrippin #roadtripromance #roadtrippin #arewethereyet #arewethereyetbook
Writing retreat A few days on the central coast. Writing retreat 

A few days on the central coast. 

Views. 
Good food. 
Sweet conversation 
Getting so close to finishing Ripped & Shipped. 

Dreaming about the next series. 
Thinking about how to bless moms and women 

#writingretreat #amwriting #amwritingromance #amwritingromcom #romcomauthor #romcomreadersofinstagram #romancereadersofinstagram #bookstagram #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #cambriacalifornia #centralcoast #slocounty #moonstonebeach
Would the Rob & Laura fans raise your hands? 🙋🏼‍♀️

My husband and I are listening to the audiobook of Battleshipped together right now. It takes us forever because: life. But, it’s been fun to revisit their story. 

If you love a slightly geeky leading man, a strong female lead with a loyal heart and a persevering spirit, Battleshipped is for you. 

If you love second chance romcom with a dash of enemies to more, Battleshipped has all the “working hard to win her heart back” vibes. 

If you love laughing out loud until people look at you funny while you read. Yeah. There are those scenes. 

If you love a found-family friend group, and a quirky small town that will win your heart, come to Bordeaux. 

QOTD: Do you love when a brainy male lead becomes your book boyfriend? Which brainy male characters have stolen your heart? 

#battleshipped #battleshippedbook #bookexcerpt #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #smalltownromancebooks #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #secondchanceromance #goatsgoatsgoats #bordeauxohio #bookboyfriend #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #ohiolove #bookstagram #bookstagrammers
Is it Wednesday? Um no. No it is not. But, do y Is it Wednesday? 
Um no. No it is not. 

But, do you still want this #WIPWednesday teaser from Ripped & Shipped? Why yes, yes you do. 

I’ll tell y’all. This book is coming along. And it is scrum-diddly-umptious. 

We’re talking banterrrrrr!
And all the swoony enemy vibes. 

And then they start faking! 
What? yasssss. They fake. The enemies start to fake a romance. 

Then … a completely unexpected and sweeeet friendship develops. 

But, ruh-roh. One of them catches feelings (just quoting Duke here). 

And it gets so HOT ( in a very closed-door way) and so HEARTFELT. 

This story is special. It’s the last in Bordeaux. So I’m pouring it all out into this book. 

You’ve got Memaw, Esther, and Mabel. 
The Bordeaux friend group. 
Lulabelle 
Ella Mae
Cooter
And so much more. 

I’m not kidding when I say this may be my fave in series. 

And you know what it means when I say I’m about 3/4 done writing? Yep. I just might release this story in May … ARC Team wannabes, lace up your running shoes. I’ll be posting opportunities to join the few open spots the first week of April. ❤️

Wait til you see the cover, too. Gah. I love it!! 

#rippedandshipped #workinprogress #amwriting
#amwritingromance #amwritingromcom
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Heyyyyy ARC Team! If you were on the ARC team fo Heyyyyy ARC Team! 

If you were on the ARC team for Cruiseshipped, our exclusive ARC Team only book chat is coming!

Tomorrow (Thursday March 23) at 5p PT we’ll be gathering on zoom to talk about Cruiseshipped. 

I’m so grateful to each one of you for reading, sharing, and reviewing Cruiseshipped. ❤️ 

So … mark your calendars and set your alarms (and a countdown is in my stories!) and let’s talk all things Brooks + Gabby ❤️🚢💃🏻

#cruiseshipped #cruiseshippedbook #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #arcteamperks #bookchat #buddyread #ilovemyreaders #authorchat
Well, I’m back with another #mememonday and this Well, I’m back with another #mememonday and this one is featuring one of my favorite movies EVER: The Princess Bride!

Which slide do you like best? 

And … aside from posting here today, I’m writing! Ripped & Shipped (Chris’ story) is halfway done! 

I’m on a roll now, and my family is going to an amusement park for the day (without me), so I’m alone with Bella and my laptop. 

Then, this weekend, I’ve got a writing retreat. The final book in the Getting Shipped series is going to be written! 

Not saying we won’t have some novellas down the road … mayyyybe we could. (Who would you want to see in a Getting Shipped novella?)

I hope your Monday is GREAT!!

#bookmemes #bookishmemes #princessbride #asyouwish #amwriting #amwritingromcom #romcomauthor #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #rippedandshipped #gettingshippedseries
#mawwage #bookstagram #bookstagrammers #bookishcommunity
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