Believe it or not, we are in the thick of it. The holiday season snuck up and then sprung out of nowhere this year. On one hand, like you, I cherish November and December – the traditions, time with family, a deeper focus on Jesus and gratitude. On the other hand, I dread the work, the extra travel, the dent in our budget, and all the extras which can pile onto an already full life during these months. The result? Holiday Burnout.
Yesterday, as I pulled into a very full parking lot to get lunch with my son, the woman parked next to me struggled to get her kids out of the car. I stepped out, apologizing in case I caused the slim space between our vehicles. She graciously said, “No, it’s these spots. They are so small, and of course, we have to buy these gigantic cars!”
Then, she suddenly said, “I know you! You spoke to the moms’ group at our church. I’m reading your book and loving it! {silent squeal inside my heart} It’s helping me say ‘no’ more often.” Her daughter (maybe six years old) said, “No, mommy! You already say lots of no!” We laughed and then I said, “Not those kinds of no answers, the kind that helps your mom set aside more time for what’s important, like spending time with you.”
She beamed as kids always do when they find out they will get more time with mom or dad.
The Price of Saying No
No answers seem to come with higher price tags this time of year. Expectations grow thicker than Aunt Barbara’s gelatin salad. Invitations sometimes abound, leaving us feeling breathless as we mindlessly add more things into our weeks. Any other time of year we consider our time more carefully. Come November, we often assume an impacted schedule comes with the territory. It doesn’t have to.
When you add up special recitals at schools, extra holiday parties for work, church, and friendship gatherings, trips to see family and all the shopping, wrapping, and cooking we do during these coming months, no wonder we can end up feeling holiday burnout!
What can we do to avoid holiday burnout?
I have a few ideas that I’m putting in place in my own life to avoid holiday burnout. Hopefully, they will help you too.
Plan ahead.
Look at the coming six weeks. If you need to, make a grid on your computer or lay out a piece of paper or a calendar. Write in all the things you already have going on. On another page, write the opportunities and invitations you know will be coming. Next to each one write what preparations and “aftermath” you will have. Count the cost for each activity. Once you have all the details on paper, see what reasonably fits into your schedule.
Cut back.
Lysa TerKeurst shares a story in her book, The Best Yes, about buying a new shirt. The upshot is, she has to throw things out of the closet to make room for more. Our time is like a closet. We can’t keep cramming things in hoping they will fit without breaking the rods and making a mess of things. If you are going to add in extra events, something’s gotta give. What will it be?

photo courtesy of noeme jimenez
Sometimes less is more.
Are there places where you could buy a pie instead of baking one? Can you share a task with a friend (like baking cookies together, shopping for one another, etc)? Can you show up for half an event instead of all of it? Look at places you can do less in order to enjoy more.
Build in Rest.
On my recent trip to Texas, we were on a whirlwind, going from town to town, speaking, signing books, teaching, and connecting with people. I purposely kept times open so we could sleep in several of the days, take walks, linger with people, and recuperate from the go-go-go of the trip. If we don’t build in rest, no one will do it for us. When you look at your calendar, be sure to plan in some margin and rest so you don’t end up with holiday burnout.

photo courtesy of mariana medvedeva
Lower your expectations.
Being with family around the holidays can stir old emotions and even spark discord. Just because it tis the season, doesn’t mean all is merry and bright. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment. Stress hits everyone over the holidays. Give yourself and others an extra bucket of grace.
I hope these tips help you go through the coming months with more joy and peace. If you want to hear more encouragement and be within a group of moms who are supporting one another as we love intentionally and make room for what matters most, we’d love to have you in The Intentional Motherhood Community.
Want more practical and personal help finding your purpose and managing your time? My book, Slow Down, Mama: Intentional Living in a Hurried World is available on Amazon. It makes a great Christmas gift for a busy mom.
I really needed to read this today as I enjoy a brief pause between holiday whirlwinds. As always, thank you for sharing your wisdom and practical tips to help us all slow down and enjoy what matters most. I hope your Thanksgiving is filled with blessings!
Thank you, Dawn! We sure wish you and your sweet family a wonderful Thanksgiving and Advent filled with rest, joy, and meaningful connection.