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Savannah Scott Romcom Author

I love you for who you are, not what you do

March 19, 2018 By Patty 8 Comments

19 Mar

Bedtime seems to draw out the chatty side in my youngest son.  We go through our ritual of PJs and toothbrushing, followed by reading the Bible with Dad and then prayers of gratitude for our day.  Some nights we read a book.  Dad says, “I love you,” tucks him in with a kiss and leaves the room.  I sit on the edge of the bed, enjoying the experience of my son all snuggled under his blankets.  Just before drifting off, the discussion begins.

photo by Kaboompics

Deep Thoughts

Usually, the content isn’t light.  Some nights he has asked deep theological questions like, “Mom, if God knew Satan was going to fall and bring sin into the world, why didn’t he just stop him?”  Men debate these kinds of issues for years, well into graduate seminary.  I don’t have pat answers.  I listen to his thoughts and share mine, even when that includes the fact that I don’t know everything.

Reflecting on the Day

Tonight he started in about his piano recital.  He missed a note.  Honestly, he was adorable and the note was nothing.  It mattered to him.  I held my tongue as he said, “Mom, I hated my recital today.”  I asked why and he told me about the missed note.  My heart wanted to jump in and tell him, “It’s okay!  No one cares about your missed note.  They enjoyed the precious way you bowed after playing and the effort you put in to share your song and all the notes you got oh-so right.”

photo by clark young

I restrained myself.  I’ve missed notes before.  Worse than that, I’ve botched things big time in situations where it mattered way more.  The last thing I needed was someone telling me my missed note didn’t matter.  I simply said, “It’s tough when we feel we are prepared and we think we’re going to nail something and then it doesn’t go as we had hoped.”  He said, “yeah.”  Then I added, “You know, I love you the same whether you miss notes or not.  As a matter of fact, I’d love you if you never learned to play piano.  I’d love you no matter what you did.”  His response took me by surprise.  “Really, mom? Would you really love me, even if I never did anything good and I did everything bad?”  Whew.

How Do I Answer?

I paused and said, “I love you for who you are, not what you do.  When we do good things with what God put in us, it is a joy and it blesses others.  It is also a way to thank Him for the ability to use the gift or talent.  But, God doesn’t love you more or less based on whether you use your gifts and I sure don’t either.  I love you as much as I ever will.  You can’t add more love to what I have for you”.  His voice had a soft smile to it as he drowsily said, “Thanks, Mom.”

photo by sebastian pichler

Loved As Is

I never knew my son had lurking ideas about whether he was loved for being instead of doing.  Having grown up in a highly performance-oriented family where my talents and intelligence felt like my identity, I have worked hard to make sure my boys know my love is as unconditional as human love can be.  I might not be pleased with their behavior at times, but I’m always on their team.  My love doesn’t fluctuate with their moods or actions.

This conversation made me think about love and how easy it can be to assure a child of our commitment to them.  I haven’t always been as intentional as I would like about stopping to listen so I can hear what is rattling around in my children’s heads.  I’m so grateful that I sit on the edge of that bed every night and allow these many colored conversations to unfold between us.  I know my children better because of the simple act of giving them my quiet, undivided attention. 

A New Resolve

I left this conversation convinced I need to echo that message until it feels like his own thought. 

[bctt tweet=”You are loved for who you are, not what you do.  Nothing in the world can stop that love, change it, or diminish it.” username=”HeartsHomeward”]


What mom couldn’t use a little inspiration to help her commit to loving more intentionally?  My mission is to bless you with regular encouragement.  I would love to send you my weekly letters, to let you be one of the first to know about my free courses, and to give you my free “Love Intentionally” Tip Sheet.  Sound good? 

Yes, Please!

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Filed Under: Parenting

About Patty

I write to encourage your heart, feed your soul, and give you wisdom for your life. Motherhood is my passion. I've been married to my surfer/skater husband for over 20 years.  We have two boys and a home full of neighbor kids most days.

« What if today is the last day we swing together
Silencing Your Inner Pharisee »

Comments

  1. Jordan says

    March 20, 2018 at 12:57 PM

    So sweet and SO GOOD! What a beautiful picture of the way God loves us: for being, not doing. And that is what equips us to love others the same way. Thank you for the encouragement today!

    Reply
    • Patty says

      March 20, 2018 at 9:29 PM

      Jordan, Thank you so much for letting me know you were here and for your sweet affirmation. I’m looking forward to visiting your blog to read what you write.

      Reply
  2. christartist says

    March 20, 2018 at 4:11 PM

    Awesome as always… I think I needed you as a mom coach 30 some years ago! Well, I guess I’ll have to take that up with God! I love that I have you in my life now!

    Reply
    • Patty says

      March 20, 2018 at 9:27 PM

      Christi, I’m so glad God caused our paths to cross – from the same hometown at that! I love when He sprinkles in a little something like that. I was actually praying for you on my commute today. Your encouragement is precious to me.

      Reply
  3. Teresa says

    March 22, 2018 at 4:29 PM

    We were just watching old home movies and one night (14 years ago, hard to believe that many years have passed) we recorded the bedtime routine. Three little boys ages 4, 6 and 8 and a rambunctious 1 year old girl were all winding down for the day and saying their prayers. I looked exhausted (but so young!). They were all so cute. I do remember always wanting to get them to bed so hubby and I could have some peace and quiet. Our favorite thing to do was ask, “What was the best part of your day?” After everyone had their turn… “What was the worst part of your day?” Those two questions always sparked funny or heartfelt conversations. The video made me want to go back and spend time with them at that age again. It made me want to tell every parent, “Don’t rush, enjoy it, savor every moment.” When you’re in the middle of it, it seems like you’ll be tucking them in forever, but before long they will off doing their own thing and you’ll yearn for those precious moments again.

    Reply
    • Patty says

      March 22, 2018 at 8:32 PM

      Teresa,
      First of all, I love that you were watching old movies. We rarely do that and we SHOULD! The exhaustion of those young mothering days is so real. We so often wish we could go back to our younger selves and say, “slow down,” and “savor.” I love your ritual of what was the best part of your day and the worst part of your day. Our sweet friends do gratitude lists at the end of the day together – and they even did it when they were camping with us. It was precious to hear the little voices in the tent calling out their grateful words and praying to God with thanks. You are so very right about all of this. Let’s encourage those younger mamas to treasure these moments. Also, let’s treasure whatever we might miss later – there’s always something. Sure grateful for you.

      Reply
  4. Rachel Lee says

    May 4, 2018 at 10:13 AM

    Such great insight here, Patty! Man, my kids can ask some doozies too! (I’m like, go ask your father to explain that to you!) Lol I love how you responded to your son. I have to admit, I rarely answer like this. In fact, I’m not sure i even give it much thought, except to empathize and try to comfort. I will be thinking more on this from now on. You’re on to something rich here! 🙂

    Reply
    • Patty says

      May 4, 2018 at 4:54 PM

      Thank you, Rachel! You made me smile about sending the kids to dad: “Tag, you’re it, hun!” 😉 Empathy and comfort go miles, I think. Your children will remember that spirit from you for years to come. I’m grateful to be thinking through this with you.

      Reply

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Ahhhh … enemies to more. 🔥 The banter is so f Ahhhh … enemies to more. 🔥
The banter is so fun!

Chris and Ella Mae start out getting on one another’s nerves … then, due to completely unexpected circumstances, they end up fake dating … and then they drive one another crazy in a whole different sense of the phrase 😉🥰

Ripped & Shipped comes out early May. I’m about 🤏 close to finishing it and sending it to my editor.

ARC Team sign ups will be coming for ebooks on Saturday (Apr 1). Paperback team is already selected and will be getting a welcome email by this weekend. 

We are going to have so much fun launching this book! I can’t even tell you the feelings I have … wrapping up this first Bordeaux series, writing this story that’s full of heart, and laughs, and kisses that make you grab a glass of ice water and fan yourself. 🔥😘🧊💦🫠

I’m so grateful you’re along for the ride. There aren’t words for the sweetness of sharing the Getting Shipped series with you. 💕

(And I’ve been loosely plotting the next series and getting excited as I start writing the Love Trippin’ books.) 💕

Do you love enemies to lovers?
Fake dating? 
Let me know … 

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#romcombooks #sweetromcom #closeddoorromance #closeddoorromcom
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Okay. So. Yes, we are still waiting for Ripped & Okay. So. 
Yes, we are still waiting for Ripped & Shipped to come out and be in your happy little hands on May 1st. 

But, authors are always (usually) a book ahead of the readers. 

And, this time, I’m a whole series ahead. 

I’m thinking about “Are We There Yet?” It’s the first book in the Love Trippin’ series. 

Four people from Bordeaux (yes!!) are traveling to California where the next series takes place. 

This first book takes place over a road trip (after a few chapters in Bordeaux, and before the later chapters in Cali).

So, I want to plan this road trip!
Im a road-tripper, and I grew up spending summers traveling from state to state with my family. 

I know my road trip stories. 
I want to hear YOURS! 
Leave it in the comments or DM me. 🚗🌳🚧🏔️

I’m not going to use your exact story, of course. But, if your story inspires something in the book, I’ll send you a free sticker and bookmark when “Are We There Yet” releases this summer. 

I’m so excited to share this new series with you!

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Writing retreat A few days on the central coast. Writing retreat 

A few days on the central coast. 

Views. 
Good food. 
Sweet conversation 
Getting so close to finishing Ripped & Shipped. 

Dreaming about the next series. 
Thinking about how to bless moms and women 

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Would the Rob & Laura fans raise your hands? 🙋🏼‍♀️

My husband and I are listening to the audiobook of Battleshipped together right now. It takes us forever because: life. But, it’s been fun to revisit their story. 

If you love a slightly geeky leading man, a strong female lead with a loyal heart and a persevering spirit, Battleshipped is for you. 

If you love second chance romcom with a dash of enemies to more, Battleshipped has all the “working hard to win her heart back” vibes. 

If you love laughing out loud until people look at you funny while you read. Yeah. There are those scenes. 

If you love a found-family friend group, and a quirky small town that will win your heart, come to Bordeaux. 

QOTD: Do you love when a brainy male lead becomes your book boyfriend? Which brainy male characters have stolen your heart? 

#battleshipped #battleshippedbook #bookexcerpt #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #smalltownromancebooks #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #secondchanceromance #goatsgoatsgoats #bordeauxohio #bookboyfriend #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #ohiolove #bookstagram #bookstagrammers
Is it Wednesday? Um no. No it is not. But, do y Is it Wednesday? 
Um no. No it is not. 

But, do you still want this #WIPWednesday teaser from Ripped & Shipped? Why yes, yes you do. 

I’ll tell y’all. This book is coming along. And it is scrum-diddly-umptious. 

We’re talking banterrrrrr!
And all the swoony enemy vibes. 

And then they start faking! 
What? yasssss. They fake. The enemies start to fake a romance. 

Then … a completely unexpected and sweeeet friendship develops. 

But, ruh-roh. One of them catches feelings (just quoting Duke here). 

And it gets so HOT ( in a very closed-door way) and so HEARTFELT. 

This story is special. It’s the last in Bordeaux. So I’m pouring it all out into this book. 

You’ve got Memaw, Esther, and Mabel. 
The Bordeaux friend group. 
Lulabelle 
Ella Mae
Cooter
And so much more. 

I’m not kidding when I say this may be my fave in series. 

And you know what it means when I say I’m about 3/4 done writing? Yep. I just might release this story in May … ARC Team wannabes, lace up your running shoes. I’ll be posting opportunities to join the few open spots the first week of April. ❤️

Wait til you see the cover, too. Gah. I love it!! 

#rippedandshipped #workinprogress #amwriting
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Heyyyyy ARC Team! If you were on the ARC team fo Heyyyyy ARC Team! 

If you were on the ARC team for Cruiseshipped, our exclusive ARC Team only book chat is coming!

Tomorrow (Thursday March 23) at 5p PT we’ll be gathering on zoom to talk about Cruiseshipped. 

I’m so grateful to each one of you for reading, sharing, and reviewing Cruiseshipped. ❤️ 

So … mark your calendars and set your alarms (and a countdown is in my stories!) and let’s talk all things Brooks + Gabby ❤️🚢💃🏻

#cruiseshipped #cruiseshippedbook #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #arcteamperks #bookchat #buddyread #ilovemyreaders #authorchat
Well, I’m back with another #mememonday and this Well, I’m back with another #mememonday and this one is featuring one of my favorite movies EVER: The Princess Bride!

Which slide do you like best? 

And … aside from posting here today, I’m writing! Ripped & Shipped (Chris’ story) is halfway done! 

I’m on a roll now, and my family is going to an amusement park for the day (without me), so I’m alone with Bella and my laptop. 

Then, this weekend, I’ve got a writing retreat. The final book in the Getting Shipped series is going to be written! 

Not saying we won’t have some novellas down the road … mayyyybe we could. (Who would you want to see in a Getting Shipped novella?)

I hope your Monday is GREAT!!

#bookmemes #bookishmemes #princessbride #asyouwish #amwriting #amwritingromcom #romcomauthor #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #rippedandshipped #gettingshippedseries
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