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Savannah Scott Romcom Author

An Open Letter to Teen Girls

May 31, 2016 By Patty 6 Comments

31 May

My teen son went back to public school this year after six years of educating at home.  The transition took my breath away and kept me on my toes in many ways.  First of all – girls.  No one tells a mother the truth about these things, or if they do, I haven’t been reading their blogs, so here I am telling it the way it is.

Walking alongside my son this past school year, I got a glimpse into your world.  I got to see the texts girls send, the group chats where everyone is saying things and sharing pictures they know they shouldn’t and the posts some of you put on YouTube, Insta and Twitter.   The world can be cray-cray these days.  I know not all you sweet girls, have given in, but I’m telling you, and you know it’s true.  Girls are literally throwing themselves at boys.  Watching the world you are growing up in got me thinking about you.  I wondered if you know the secrets we older women know?  Has anyone taken the time to do anything besides teach you how to put a condom on a banana in Health Class?  Just in case they haven’t, I want to let you in on a few things. I want to make sure someone says this to you.

mentor meeting

From one older woman to you young women, I’m qualified to give you a lay of the land.  I was young once too.  Yes, the fact of that matter is hidden a bit beneath a body that birthed two boys, some wrinkles around my eyes, and legs which resemble a road map from my mid-life varicose veins.  Underneath the surface is the heart of the girl I once was.  Not only that, I’ve been further down the road, which means I’ve got a vantage point you don’t have yet.  Just like you could tell a 5th grader a thing or two about what’s to come, I’ve got some hard-earned wisdom and experience that just might change your life.

Believe it or not, it wasn’t too long ago that I had crushes, thought about boys non-stop and wondered if I measured up enough to get the attention I craved.  Thankfully, I didn’t have to contend with programs like SnapChat which are set up so you can send a boy a picture of your unclothed body and have all seeming evidence of that picture disappear as quickly as you posted it.  I did enough foolish things without having access to tools designed to take advantage of me in that way. 

Teen Girl

Girls, don’t you know?  Are you not aware of the supreme value you have been given by God?  Your body is a gift to you.  It is a gift you get to give away to someone very special one day.  It’s not for every young guy to gawk at, lust over and use for his own pleasure.  I saw a chat conversation in which a young man said “Your T & A are the talk of the school.”  This was meant to be a compliment.  I wanted to run over to his home and smash his Iphone with a hammer.  I restrained myself.  The point is, you are more than your body.  You are a complete person who has such value.  There never was anyone like you and there never will be again.  For a boy to reduce you to your T & A or anything else physical is just wrong. 

Your body, whether you like the way it looks or not, is something to be protected and cared for.  Guard it like the crown jewels.  Purity isn’t a punishment.  It’s a privilege.  You get to hold onto this treasure and give it to one man forever.  He will earn the right to have all you can give him when he commits his life and heart to you. 

teen girl 5

Until that day, you need to wait.  Ohhh that unpopular word.  How on earth can you wait when so many girls around you are rushing forward and bragging about what they have seen and done?  How can you hold out when boys are pressuring you to go forward with them? 

The answer lies in knowing your value.  You hold out because you are worth it.  I don’t know your story or your family life.  I don’t know if you have been raised with values that affirm how amazing you are and how much God, the Creator of the Universes and the careful Creator of you, loves and cherishes you.  I wonder if you have been told the good things about yourself and had your gifts and talents drawn out by someone who sincerely believes in you.  I sure hope so.  Even if you haven’t had people around you building you up, I want to share a secret with you.  Giving your body to a boy won’t fill the gaping hole of worthlessness you feel.  In the moment you might feel admired, desired, pretty, and even powerful.  In the moment.  Afterwards, you will feel used up, less than and you will have a secret to keep – one you will wish you could erase. 

teen girl 3

With all the girls around you possibly doing the same thing, the feelings of emptiness may not surface right away.  You may feel you are finally fitting in by sending nude pictures or going further with guys than you really want to in your heart.  This is the price you pay for acceptance.  This is what it takes to fit in.  Your parents don’t understand.  They aren’t living in your world.  I know.  My parents didn’t live in my world either.  They were from another era.  Guess what.  You won’t live in your teen daughter’s world either.  Still, some truths span years and eras.  The fact of the matter is that sex outside of marriage hurts because it goes against the very grain of how the world was designed to work.  Allowing someone inside your intimate places requires that they be committed to you wholeheartedly.  The only commitment that ensures that intimacy is marriage.  Save yourself for this one special man.  Choose him carefully and wait for him. 

You might think this one particular boy – the one you know right now who seems so different from all the others – is going to be your lifetime love.  After all, you’ve never felt the way you do when you are with him.  Okay.  I’ll give you that.  Sometimes high school relationships last on and the couple ends up married.  So, if that’s the case.  Let’s wait and see.  Wait until after high school.  Keep yourself until he marries you.  You are doing him the favor of saying, “I’ll cherish you enough to remain pure for you after we are married.” 

teen girls

If I’m talking to you and you’ve already sold out, bought the lie and are living in the residue of what you chose, know that there is great forgiveness and healing available to you.  Just because you have let someone take advantage of you, doesn’t mean you have to keep on.  You can draw a line now.  You can decide to turn the other way.  You can choose purity and move forward from this day.  God is the God of grace, mercy and second chances and He is here for you, sweet girl.  He wants to cleanse you and give you a fresh start.  Will you let Him?

It takes far more character and courage to swim upstream when everyone around you is doing something your gut knows isn’t right.  But, girl, you are worth it.  You may have the deepest regrets from giving in.  You will never regret waiting. 


I don’t usually write letters to teens on this blog.  I usually write for parents – to give us all support and encouragement as we raise our children.  Today God laid it on my heart to write a letter to all the girls I see – the ones who don’t even know the long-term pain they will endure from their short-term choices.  If you know someone who would be blessed by this letter, please send it to them.  Let’s come alongside these girls and show them how God calls them beautiful, beloved and worth the wait. 

Photo credits – common license photos from Morguefile and Unsplash

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Filed Under: Parenting

About Patty

I write to encourage your heart, feed your soul, and give you wisdom for your life. Motherhood is my passion. I've been married to my surfer/skater husband for over 20 years.  We have two boys and a home full of neighbor kids most days.

« What to do when you are weary of the struggle
learning how to set limits as a parent of a teenager »

Comments

  1. Barbie says

    June 1, 2016 at 11:54 PM

    This is great Patty. I will be sure to forward to some teen moms I know.

    Reply
    • Patty says

      June 3, 2016 at 12:25 AM

      Barbie, I sure appreciate you coming here and commenting and sharing this with young women who could be blessed to know God loves them deeply. You are such a treasure to me in my blogging life. Praying blessings for you today.

      Reply
  2. Shelly says

    June 3, 2016 at 12:53 AM

    Great words of wisdom. Thanks for keeping it real Patty.

    Reply
    • Patty says

      June 5, 2016 at 8:18 AM

      Thank you, Shelly. We have talked about all teens are facing, and I sat down to write about parenting teens (which I’ll write on this coming week) and then God really moved me to write to the girls I know – to those I don’t know. I pray this letter somehow falls into the hands of girls who are struggling and it gives them a perspective and motivation to hold out for God’s best for them. I’m so glad you popped by and commented.

      Reply

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Hi, I’m Savannah …

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Ahhhh … enemies to more. 🔥 The banter is so f Ahhhh … enemies to more. 🔥
The banter is so fun!

Chris and Ella Mae start out getting on one another’s nerves … then, due to completely unexpected circumstances, they end up fake dating … and then they drive one another crazy in a whole different sense of the phrase 😉🥰

Ripped & Shipped comes out early May. I’m about 🤏 close to finishing it and sending it to my editor.

ARC Team sign ups will be coming for ebooks on Saturday (Apr 1). Paperback team is already selected and will be getting a welcome email by this weekend. 

We are going to have so much fun launching this book! I can’t even tell you the feelings I have … wrapping up this first Bordeaux series, writing this story that’s full of heart, and laughs, and kisses that make you grab a glass of ice water and fan yourself. 🔥😘🧊💦🫠

I’m so grateful you’re along for the ride. There aren’t words for the sweetness of sharing the Getting Shipped series with you. 💕

(And I’ve been loosely plotting the next series and getting excited as I start writing the Love Trippin’ books.) 💕

Do you love enemies to lovers?
Fake dating? 
Let me know … 

#wipwednesday #workinprogress #amwritingromance #amwritingromcom
#romcombooks #sweetromcom #closeddoorromance #closeddoorromcom
#savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #bordeauxohio #bordeauxohioforever #newrelease #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #lovestories #rippedandshipped #chellamaebae #rippedandshippedbook #bookstagrammers #bookstagram #romcom #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #bookexcerpt #shippers #Imashipper #Smalltownromance #ohiolove #smalltownromancebooks
Okay. So. Yes, we are still waiting for Ripped & Okay. So. 
Yes, we are still waiting for Ripped & Shipped to come out and be in your happy little hands on May 1st. 

But, authors are always (usually) a book ahead of the readers. 

And, this time, I’m a whole series ahead. 

I’m thinking about “Are We There Yet?” It’s the first book in the Love Trippin’ series. 

Four people from Bordeaux (yes!!) are traveling to California where the next series takes place. 

This first book takes place over a road trip (after a few chapters in Bordeaux, and before the later chapters in Cali).

So, I want to plan this road trip!
Im a road-tripper, and I grew up spending summers traveling from state to state with my family. 

I know my road trip stories. 
I want to hear YOURS! 
Leave it in the comments or DM me. 🚗🌳🚧🏔️

I’m not going to use your exact story, of course. But, if your story inspires something in the book, I’ll send you a free sticker and bookmark when “Are We There Yet” releases this summer. 

I’m so excited to share this new series with you!

#lovetrippin #lovetrippinseries #savannahscottauthor #savannahscott #romcombooks #sweetromcom #sweetromance #closeddoorromance #closeddoorromcom #romcombooksaremyweakness #romcomreadersofinstagram #romancereadersofinstagram #bookstagram #roadtrippin #roadtripromance #roadtrippin #arewethereyet #arewethereyetbook
Writing retreat A few days on the central coast. Writing retreat 

A few days on the central coast. 

Views. 
Good food. 
Sweet conversation 
Getting so close to finishing Ripped & Shipped. 

Dreaming about the next series. 
Thinking about how to bless moms and women 

#writingretreat #amwriting #amwritingromance #amwritingromcom #romcomauthor #romcomreadersofinstagram #romancereadersofinstagram #bookstagram #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #cambriacalifornia #centralcoast #slocounty #moonstonebeach
Would the Rob & Laura fans raise your hands? 🙋🏼‍♀️

My husband and I are listening to the audiobook of Battleshipped together right now. It takes us forever because: life. But, it’s been fun to revisit their story. 

If you love a slightly geeky leading man, a strong female lead with a loyal heart and a persevering spirit, Battleshipped is for you. 

If you love second chance romcom with a dash of enemies to more, Battleshipped has all the “working hard to win her heart back” vibes. 

If you love laughing out loud until people look at you funny while you read. Yeah. There are those scenes. 

If you love a found-family friend group, and a quirky small town that will win your heart, come to Bordeaux. 

QOTD: Do you love when a brainy male lead becomes your book boyfriend? Which brainy male characters have stolen your heart? 

#battleshipped #battleshippedbook #bookexcerpt #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #smalltownromancebooks #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #secondchanceromance #goatsgoatsgoats #bordeauxohio #bookboyfriend #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #ohiolove #bookstagram #bookstagrammers
Is it Wednesday? Um no. No it is not. But, do y Is it Wednesday? 
Um no. No it is not. 

But, do you still want this #WIPWednesday teaser from Ripped & Shipped? Why yes, yes you do. 

I’ll tell y’all. This book is coming along. And it is scrum-diddly-umptious. 

We’re talking banterrrrrr!
And all the swoony enemy vibes. 

And then they start faking! 
What? yasssss. They fake. The enemies start to fake a romance. 

Then … a completely unexpected and sweeeet friendship develops. 

But, ruh-roh. One of them catches feelings (just quoting Duke here). 

And it gets so HOT ( in a very closed-door way) and so HEARTFELT. 

This story is special. It’s the last in Bordeaux. So I’m pouring it all out into this book. 

You’ve got Memaw, Esther, and Mabel. 
The Bordeaux friend group. 
Lulabelle 
Ella Mae
Cooter
And so much more. 

I’m not kidding when I say this may be my fave in series. 

And you know what it means when I say I’m about 3/4 done writing? Yep. I just might release this story in May … ARC Team wannabes, lace up your running shoes. I’ll be posting opportunities to join the few open spots the first week of April. ❤️

Wait til you see the cover, too. Gah. I love it!! 

#rippedandshipped #workinprogress #amwriting
#amwritingromance #amwritingromcom
#romcombooks #sweetromance #sweetromcom
#closeddoorromance #closeddoorromcom
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Heyyyyy ARC Team! If you were on the ARC team fo Heyyyyy ARC Team! 

If you were on the ARC team for Cruiseshipped, our exclusive ARC Team only book chat is coming!

Tomorrow (Thursday March 23) at 5p PT we’ll be gathering on zoom to talk about Cruiseshipped. 

I’m so grateful to each one of you for reading, sharing, and reviewing Cruiseshipped. ❤️ 

So … mark your calendars and set your alarms (and a countdown is in my stories!) and let’s talk all things Brooks + Gabby ❤️🚢💃🏻

#cruiseshipped #cruiseshippedbook #savannahscott #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #gettingshippedseries #arcteamperks #bookchat #buddyread #ilovemyreaders #authorchat
Well, I’m back with another #mememonday and this Well, I’m back with another #mememonday and this one is featuring one of my favorite movies EVER: The Princess Bride!

Which slide do you like best? 

And … aside from posting here today, I’m writing! Ripped & Shipped (Chris’ story) is halfway done! 

I’m on a roll now, and my family is going to an amusement park for the day (without me), so I’m alone with Bella and my laptop. 

Then, this weekend, I’ve got a writing retreat. The final book in the Getting Shipped series is going to be written! 

Not saying we won’t have some novellas down the road … mayyyybe we could. (Who would you want to see in a Getting Shipped novella?)

I hope your Monday is GREAT!!

#bookmemes #bookishmemes #princessbride #asyouwish #amwriting #amwritingromcom #romcomauthor #sweetromcom #closeddoorromcom #romancereadersofinstagram #romcomreadersofinstagram #savannahscottauthor #gettingshipped #rippedandshipped #gettingshippedseries
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